How to Love Your Husband while Living in a Feminist Culture

Published on by Carrie Nehmer1 Comment

We live in a twisted world, where purity and innocence are despised and made fun of. A world where a woman can accuse a man of anything, and we have to believe her not because of the evidence provided, but because she is a woman. With one click of the TV remote, we can find talk shows, sitcoms, and movies that depict men as dummies, being led around by the whiles of some female influence.

Boys are no longer allowed to be boys. They are discouraged from getting dirty or being loud. They are taught that not only can a girl do anything a boy does, but girls can do it better. Boys no longer have confidence in who they were created to be, so they grow up confused and lazy, sometimes amounting to nothing. They live in their parent’s basements playing video games for a living. Not living a real life, but an alternate reality, where they can be anything they want to be without ridicule.

Few are the homes where wives respect their husbands, and husbands cherish their wives. Children are given a place of eminence, creating discord, and conflict between parents. Men are no longer leaders, and if they do try to lead, they are belittled and publicly humiliated.

Standing in the middle of this “dumbing down” of men in society is the Christian wife. Exactly how can a Christian wife love her husband while living in a feminist culture?

As of today, my husband and I have been married for 19 years. Our story is one I love to tell, and one that has been blessed with God’s grace. The strong and happy marriage my husband and I enjoy today is not because we followed a certain set of rules, but because we both chose to follow the path that Christ set before us in our marriage. Some of this path we’ve walked these last 19 years was a little rocky. There have been days I wondered if I still loved my husband. There were even moments when I wanted to throw a fit and walk out the door! However, with each difficulty we faced, my husband and I chose to humble ourselves, not just to each other, but to God. And here we are today, by God’s grace, celebrating 19 happy years!

I would like to share with you what I have learned about loving my husband when the world around me is seemingly going in the opposite direction.

5 ways you can love your husband while living in a feminist culture:

Use the Word of God as your marriage manual. The most important lesson I have learned in 19 years of marriage, is that the Bible needs to be our go-to-guide for marriage. Wives, we need to be careful that we are not allowing ourselves to be influenced by worldly doctrines. In other words, don’t count on the latest edition of Family Circle, or Brides to clue you in on how to love your husband!

From the latest Hollywood couples to the most recent romance movies, everyone has their eyes glued to the “stars” when it comes to defining love. Did you know, that in Orange County (home to Hollywood), the divorce rate is highest in the nation? So who is everyone in Hollywood going to when looking for help with their marriage? Well, many of them are going to Dr. John M. Gottman, the best selling author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, Dr. Gottman is one of America’s most influential therapists, and his work has been nationally recognized by major media outlets across the globe. Yet, did you know that the most renowned authority on marriage was married 3 times?

Another famous doctor that America loves to turn to for marital advice is TV icon, Dr. Phil. Known for publicly counseling couples whose marriages are on the brink of divorce, Dr. Phil claims he has a “formula for making any marriage work”. Many American’s would be surprised to know that their beloved doctor is not an actual licensed or practicing doctor, and has been married twice!

Dear Christian Wife, we should not be looking at the rich or famous to tell us how to love our husbands. We should be looking to the One who created and established the first marriage in human history! (Genesis 2:21-25) God has promised that if we ask for wisdom on any matter, He will give it to us.

“If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” – James 1:5

Have a personal relationship with God that is separate from your husband. Every day for the last 19 years, I have watched my husband get up well before the sun rises. He makes himself a huge cup of coffee and sits down with his Bible. When he is finished with his reading, he finds a corner in the house where no one can bother him and prays before going to work. Then, every evening before bed, my husband takes my hand, and we both kneel together in prayer.  I truly believe that I am living a blessed life today because of my husband’s faithfulness to God!  He has had a steady relationship with the Lord, that has only grown as the years have passed.

Somehow, in the early years and craziness of having 4 children and walking around in a constant state of exhaustion, I had grown to depend on my husband’s relationship with God to get me through.  I was casting all my cares at my husband’s feet when he walked in the door after work, and not at the feet of Jesus!  I had to explain every detail of everything bad in my day.  Not only did I have to explain every detail, but I also had to make sure he felt just as miserable as I did! Why did I do this?  Because I had somehow allowed my own personal relationship with God to slip. I assumed that because my husband was doing right and had a relationship with God, it would cover up my own unfaithfulness.

“Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.” – 1 Peter 5:7

Wives, in order to love our husbands, especially in this feminist culture we live in today, we need to have a strong relationship with God.  We can not fully love our husbands if we don’t first love the Lord!  Leaning on our husbands for our spiritual well-being will only give us tired and resentful husbands.  When we focus on a personal relationship with God, we become stronger wives, capable of loving our husbands the way God intended us to.

“A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.” – Proverbs 27:15

“…the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping.” – Proverbs 19:13b

Respect your husband with your words.  By worldly standards, we are taught to respect all races, cultures, and genders – except men.  We are pretty much told that men are pigs and that we don’t have to respect them.

Coco Chanel, French designer, and businesswoman in the early 1900s was quoted as saying, “as long as you know most men are like children, you know everything.”

Brigitte Bardot, fashion model, actress, and one of the best-known sex symbols of the 1950s and ’60s was quoted as saying, “men are beasts, and even beasts don’t behave as they do.”

American singer and actress, Cher, once said, “the trouble with some woman is that they get all excited over nothing – and then marry him.”

These are just a few of many examples of public man-bashing that has desensitized women over the last century.  Women are so used to this mindset, in fact, that it has crept into our Christian homes.

Wives, we can love our husbands in a feminist world-gone-crazy, by respecting our husbands when we talk about them.  Respecting our husbands doesn’t mean we give up our freedom to voice our opinions from time to time.  It doesn’t mean we become slaves to their every whim and desire.

Respect means to hold someone in high regard. What does your husband do well?  These are the things you should say in front of your friends when you get together for a girls night out!  What are the qualities about your husband that drew you to him?  These are the qualities you should point out to your children, mother or sister.   In 1 Peter chapter 3, Peter admonishes Christian wives to have “chaste” conversations.  A chaste conversation is a conversation that is pure in thought.  We can’t have chaste conversations while bashing our husbands behind their backs!  Wives, we can love our husbands by respecting them with our words!

“…while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.” – 1 Peter 1: 2

Don’t try to change him.  How many women go into a marriage thinking they can change their husbands?  I’m raising my hand!  When I was dating my husband, I thought I would be able to get him to change his sense of style.  I didn’t get too bent out of shape over his rolled up long sleeved shirts or his white socks with black shoes, because I really believed I would get him to change once we were married.  That definitely didn’t happen!

The world today is all about changing men from being what God created them to be, into something that fits into the crazy ideas of feminist culture.  Men who attempt to change their gender are applauded and held in high regard.  Society wants men to be emotional and gentle, with no deep passions or standards.  A man who is passionate about his freedom, guns, or God is no longer politically correct.  Wives, we can love our husbands by not trying to change them from what they were created to be.  Trying to change your husband to be anything less than the man God put in him, will make for an unhappy and unhealthy marriage.

God made men to be strong protectors and providers.  They were created to take care of their wives and children.  What are your husband’s strengths?  Those strengths are God-given and should be applauded, not discouraged.  Wives, let’s encourage our husbands to be men!

“Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong.” –  1 Corinthians 16:13

Realize that your husband is not a mind reader.  That was the only request my husband made of me before we said our vows.  He was afraid I would expect him to know what I was thinking or feeling without having to tell him.  He asked that instead of getting angry or hurt that he didn’t pick up on my hints or clues, that I would just be straight up with him and tell him what was going on.

Part of the recent feminist movement today is that women are right because they are women. They want society to ignore the idea that facts must be provided before a man is hauled off to jail.  In so doing, we often exchange truth for emotions and ruin innocent lives.

Wives, we can love our husbands in this mixed up society by not expecting our husbands to read our minds.  As nice as it would be to have our husbands emotionally in tune with our feelings, that is not realistic.  If you are upset with your husband for something he has said or done, calmly present the facts to him.

In these perilous days we live in, the line between what is worldly and what is godly can easily become blurred. Feminism runs so strong, that Christian wives are forgetting how to love their husbands.  Recent statistics show that of Christians who attend church regularly, a whopping 38% end in divorce.  That is only a %12 percent difference by national standards!  Dear Christian wives, let’s work on being a light to the world.  Let’s work on having happier marriages.  Let’s love our husbands!

Can One Really Overcome Anxiety?

Published on by Carrie Nehmer1 Comment

Over the last few months, I found myself questioning everything I thought I knew about anxiety. I was experiencing new symptoms that left me confused, and a little afraid. I began to wonder…

can one really overcome anxiety?

This question bothered me. It circled in my mind as I lay in bed, it nestled in my thoughts when I washed dishes and folded clothes. It lingered in the background when I listened to music or watched TV. All the while, my anxiety grew. It wasn’t until I had reached the climax of my struggle, and sought counsel from my pastor, that I finally understood.

Because I am a lover of the written word, and I think more clearly when I can write my thoughts on paper, I have written this post in answer to my plaguing question! This article was not written for you, dear readers. It was written for myself. It is a compilation of all I have learned from my pastors, reading the Word of God, reading many books and articles, and my own personal experience.

Six Things People Who Overcome Anxiety Don’t Do:

1. Focus on their symptoms. People who overcome anxiety have learned that they can’t focus on their symptoms. Instead, they work on capturing every worry and fear and handing them over to God. Overcomers have learned that when they focus on their symptoms, and how terribly they want to be healed, they are actually robbing God from His glory. When the focus shifts from our symptoms to God’s goodness, we are taking the first step to glorifying Him!

“Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of God.” – 2 Corinthians 10:5

2. Allow their emotions to rule them. People who overcome anxiety have learned that they can’t allow their emotions to rule them. It is not a sin to feel sad, or angry. The sin lies in how much freedom we give to those emotions. If we allow our emotions to rule our spirits, we are allowing ourselves to become vulnerable to even more pain and suffering. When we allow our emotions to reign, life, in general, can feel like an impossibility in our minds, opening the door to dangerous thoughts. Overcomers choose to not follow emotional thoughts, and instead, leave them at the feet of Christ.

“He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down and without walls.” – Proverbs 25:28

“Gird up the loins of your mind…” – 1 Peter 1:13

3. Play the “worry game”. People who overcome anxiety don’t play the “worry game”. They realize that while they can’t always help the worry that might pop into their heads, they can choose to not follow them. Once you follow a worry in your mind, it leads to more worries, and before you know it, you are on a merry-go-round of unhealthy thoughts and anxiety! Overcomers choose to not follow their worry.

“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” – Philippians 4:8

4. Quit God’s calling in their life. People who overcome anxiety don’t stop trying to please God. What is God’s calling in your life? God has personally called me to be a wife and a mother. Because of God’s grace, I have the strength necessary to fulfill this calling, even when I am having an exceptionally bad day. Every Christian, young and old, is called by God to do something, and God has given each of us the strength to obey, despite our anxieties. Yes, sometimes we need to rest, even God rested on the 7th day of Creation! However, God always gives us renewed strength to do His will! Overcomers recognize that they can still obey God, despite their anxiety.

“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” – Philippians 4:13

“But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” – Isaiah 40:31

4. Stop Praising God. People who overcome anxiety don’t stop praising God. If it’s a good day, they praise God for the good day! If it’s a bad day, they find at least one good thing in that day, to praise Him for. Overcomers know that when they are able to give God thanks, not for their anxiety, but through their anxiety, they are reflecting God’s grace in their lives! They learn to rejoice in the day, instead of just “getting through” it.

“This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it” – Psalms 118:24

5. Forget the true meaning of “overcome”. People who overcome anxiety know it is a daily battle. Whatever the cause of your anxiety: worry, stress, fear, past addiction, or chemical imbalance – the victory is not in defeating the anxiety, but in your obedience to God despite it. Overcoming is learning to glorify your Heavenly Father, despite your difficulty. Overcoming is not allowing your difficulty to control you.

“Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.” – Philippians 4:11

“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9

6. Ignore God’s promises. People who overcome anxiety cling to God’s promises for peace. They realize that the more they read the Bible, and the more they pray, the closer to God they become. They realize that only God truly knows the thoughts and intents of their own hearts and that God loves them anyway! Overcomers know that no matter how difficult their anxiety may become, God is still with them and that He is offering His grace!

“And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:7

“I the Lord search the heart, I try the reins…” – Jeremiah 17:10

“If I ascend up into heaven, thou are there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.”– Psalms 139:8-10

I’m not really sure I can claim to be an “overcomer” of anxiety, but it is something I strive for every day!

If you are a Christian struggling with anxiety, and this article was a help to you, leave me a comment below!

 

 

Why 40 Looks Good

Published on by Carrie Nehmer1 Comment

I’m not gonna lie. Turning 40 is something I have dreaded since my youth. There’s just something that doesn’t sit well with me over the realization that my life is now half over! And of course, I’ve heard the stories of waking up with aches and pains and the gray hairs that will start appearing in abundance!

I’m turning 40 next week.

Yay me!! (complete sarcasm)

Seriously though. Despite the concerns mentioned above, 40 actually seems less frightful these days. In fact, I see many benefits of turning the big 4-0!

Why is 40 looking so good?

I know who I am. In a world where everyone is trying to find themselves, I have peace with who I am! I’ve finally accepted the fact I will probably never be the size I was before I had kids. I’m OK with that. I’m OK with the fact that I’m not a sporty person. I’ll probably never voluntarily run a 5K marathon. I’m OK with the fact that I’m not good at decorating, sewing, or doing crafts. That’s OK! I know what I am good at. I love to cook. I love to read and write. I can clean and organize pretty well. I love leisurely walks, coffee, ice cream, and laughing with friends. I adore my husband and kids. 40 means I don’t sweat what I’m not good at, I just embrace what I love!

I don’t care what people think about me anymore. OK, I say this knowing I do care. I just don’t care as much as I used to! If I find that someone else thinks poorly of me, I might agonize over it for a bit. But then I turn to God and ask Him what He thinks. I ask that He reveal my sin to me. I confess it and forsake it – and move on! 40 means that pleasing God matters more than pleasing my peers!

I have more confidence. Come on now, I’ve been around for 40 years! I know a little bit more than I did 20 years ago. No, I’m not an expert, but I no longer need to call my mom or sisters for advice on keeping house or making meals. In fact, people now ask me for advice! If I’m asked to help someone organize or clean, I know exactly how I want to do it, and I confidently go in a get it done. 40 means that experience has given me confidence!

I know who my friends are. Somewhere in the last few years, I noticed that my friendships have changed. I don’t know if it was time and trials that drew us closer together, or that I had just matured, but there has been less drama between my friends and I. The friendships I have, seem to have become more precious. Each new friendship that enters my life, holds a special place in my heart. 40 means you have more friends than ever!

God means more to me now. Walking daily with the Lord means you will draw closer to Him over time. My Heavenly Father has brought me through many difficult times over the years, and through each difficulty, God has drawn me a little more closer to His side. My walk with Him is sweeter, and I now recognize my Shepherds voice. 40 means peace with my Savior!

So yes, some 40-year-olds start having a little more health difficulties. I’m presently waiting in my doctor’s office for a check-up on my high blood-pressure! And yes, I recently got my hair cut short and highlighted to cover the gray. But you know what? I feel that I’m in the prime of my life, and I’ve decide that 40 looks pretty good!

“The hoary head is a crown of glory, if it be found in the way of righteousness.” – Proverbs 16:31

“With the ancient is wisdom; and in length of days understanding.” – Job 12:12

Tips to Overcoming a Panic Attack

Published on by Carrie Nehmer1 Comment

If you are anxiety sufferer, you know the classic signs of anxiety. Tightness in your chest, palpitations, headaches, tummy upset, trembling hands, and week legs. These are all classic symptoms of anxiety. I should know. I’ve had them all before.

I’m so thankful that I’m not new to this story, and that I know what to do when I feel a panic attack coming on. I thought I would share with you some tips that can help you overcome a panic attack.

1. Know your symptoms. Everyone is different. For me, I know I’m about to have a panic attack if my chest starts feeling a little tight. At that moment, if I take the time to do the steps below, I can avoid it.

2. Breathe deeply. At the first sign of a coming panic attack, stop what you are doing and focus on breathing. Breathe in through your nose counting to 5 very slowly. Then let the breath out slowly through your mouth, counting to 7. Repeat this five times.

3. Quote scripture. Everyone should have a verse of scripture that they call “theirs”. Something that can bring comfort to an anxious mind. Here’s mine:

“And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:7

4. Distract yourself. The worst thing to do when you feel a panic attack coming on is to focus on how you feel. Go outside for a few minutes and take a quick walk. Start up a conversation with your husband, or call your mom. Break the cycle of panic with distraction.

5. Essential Oils. I don’t sell oils, but I’ve been using them since before they were ever popular. I found a blend from Young Living called “Peace and Calming”, and I love it. I don’t know if it’s just a placebo for me or what, but the scent of this particular oil really does help me feel calm. When I feel anxiety coming in, I rub some over my heart, on my wrists, and under my earlobes.

6. Pray. If you know why this anxiety attack started to come on, share your burden with Jesus. He really does care! Leave your cares and worry at His feet. Pour your heart and tears out before Him. He’s listening!

“Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.” – 1 Peter 5:7

7. Reflect. Once you are past the tense and anxious moment, think back on why you think you had it. Maybe you need to slow your schedule down a little, or change your attitude about something. Search for a Biblical and practical solution to whatever is causing you stress. Sometimes, just talking to a like-minded Christian friend can be enough to encourage you!

I hope these tips help you the next time you are about to have a panic attack!

You Matter to God

Published on by Carrie NehmerLeave a comment

I’m a city girl. I find comfort in the sound of rumbling trucks, car horns, and trains. Kids playing, dogs barking, and neighbors fighting are often heard through my open windows. Sometimes, on foggy mornings, I can even hear large ship horns from Lake Erie. At night, streetlights cast their glow across my front window, and I’m OK with that. I’m a city girl, and for me, this is “normal”.

My husband, however, is from a remote town in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. Ontonagon is located on the shores of Lake Superior and home to the beautiful Porcupine Mountains. The first time Gabe brought me to his home-town, I was amazed at how quiet it was. There were no traffic jams or busy streets. No police sirens echoing off of tall city buildings. And it was clean. Despite the moving water on Lake Superior, I could see all the way down to the bottom of the lake. The water was crystal clear. At night, it was so dark outside, I couldn’t see my hand in front of my face. The biggest difference between living in the city and living in the country was when I looked up at the sky. The stars! I had no idea there were that many stars in the sky! The more I gazed into the sky, the more stars I saw, and I realized there were layers upon layers of them. I felt very small and insignificant!

Have you ever been struck at the wonder of a beautiful mountain range or the powerful sound of a waterfall? Maybe you’ve looked up at the vast number of stars in amazement or stopped to enjoy the cheerful sound of birds outside your window. How many majestic sunrises or sunsets have you watched with appreciation?

“The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork.”

– Psalms 19:1

The same God that created all of the earth’s astounding beauty, created you. Have you ever stopped to wonder how the Creator of all things in existence, views you?

God thinks you are beautiful. Scripture tells us that God created all things beautiful. How dare we criticize ourselves for things we can not change! It really doesn’t matter what we think about ourselves, God thinks His creation is perfect. (“And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good.” – Genesis 1:31) Don’t criticize the size of your feet or the shape of your nose. Stop hating the color of your hair or the sound of your voice. In doing so, you are criticizing God’s masterpiece!

“He hath made every thing beautiful in his time”

– Ecclesiastes 3:11a

God thinks of you all the time. Why is it so easy for us to believe that God doesn’t really care about us? There are days we wonder if God even knows we exist. Yet the psalmist tells us that God thinks of us as often as the grains of sand on the earth. Do you know how many grains of sand there are on the earth?! Scientists estimate there are over seven quintillion, five hundred quadrillion grains of sand on the earth. Umm…I can’t even write that number on paper. I think it’s safe to say, that God thinks of you in His every waking moment. Which, by the way, God doesn’t sleep. (“Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.” – Psalm 121:4)

“How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand.”

– Psalms 139:17 & 18

God thinks you are 1 in billion. Stop and think about it. There are over 7 billion people on the earth today. Yet, God takes the time to know every little detail about you. He knew your name before you were born (Jerimiah 1:5), He formed you specifically while you were in your mothers womb (Isaiah 44:24), He knows when you sit down, stand up, or lie down (Psalms 139:2&3), and He hears every word you say (Pslams 139:4). If that were not enough, God has a book with your name on it where He keeps track of how many fingers you have, and every other little detail about you. (Psalms 139:16)! Oh, and let’s not forget that He collects your tears (Psalms 56:8), counts the hairs on your head (Luke 12:7), and is always watching what you do (Proverbs 15:3). In no way does God find you insignificant!

“I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”

– Psalms 139:14

God has a purpose for your existence. I don’t think there is a human on this earth that hasn’t ever wondered what their purpose was. The world actually calls it “finding themselves”, but the Bible tells us that we can know exactly what our purpose is. In fact, we don’t even have to go away to find our purpose we just need to read the Word of God! Our main purpose on this earth is to glorify God in every word we say and in every deed we do (Exodus 9:16). Sometimes we go through storms in our lives and we struggle with understanding why God is allowing us to suffer. Yet we know that every trial has a purpose and meaning (Romans 8:28). God does not make mistakes with our lives!

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”

– Jerimiah 29:11

God thinks you are priceless. God created this earth, and the heavens. Everything that we find beauty in was the handiwork of our God. Not only that, but God created man and woman and gave all of that beauty to them with just one restriction. Yet, instead of obeying God, man decided to break that one rule. Ever since that day, sin has been passed down through countless generations. It broke God’s heart. He gave man many chances to be forgiven of that sin, but man failed continually. God knew that there could only be one sure way to save His beloved creation, and that was through the blood of His only Son, Jesus Christ. If you want to hear the entire story of God’s plan of redemption, go here.

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

– John 3:16

God is not going to leave us alone. No matter how alone you might feel, God never leaves His children. There are days our flesh and the Devil will lie to us, and tell us we are alone and that God doesn’t really care. On those days, we need to trust the Word of God and not our feelings! God is walking in our future, He can be found in our past, and He is in our today, resting His hand on our shoulder. We can never out run God, and we can never hide from Him. No matter how deep our pit is, no matter how far we run, God is with us!

“Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it. Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence? If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.”

– Psalms 139:5-10

This city girl will never be able to walk a sandy beach again without thinking about God. I will never watch a sunset, or gaze into a starry sky without being amazed at how powerful my God is! When I’m in the depths of despair, and begin to doubt how God really views me, I will not trust my feelings. I will cling to the Word of God and know that God views me as priceless.

No Fear In Death

Published on by Carrie NehmerLeave a comment

There is no doubt in my mind that I will one day walk on a street of gold. One day, a hand that was once nail-driven to a wooden cross will reach out to me, and lead me Home. I will see my Savior face to face, and I will enjoy eternity in Heaven with Him.

I am not afraid of what life-after-death holds for me. (If you don’t know where you will spend eternity, go here to read how you can have that assurance.)

Once upon a time, I used to worry about how I would die. I’ve never been diagnosed with a terminal illness or told I only have a short time left to live. Yet there were nights I used to lay awake long after the rest of my family would be sleeping, and I would wonder how I would die. These worries at times would leave me frozen with fear, allowing anxiety to get a grip on my mind, debilitating me. Would I die in a car accident? I began to have panic attacks while driving. Would I die of a heart attack? I began to struggle with chest pains. Would I die of a stroke? I began to wonder if I had blood clots. Would I die of cancer? I began to question every twinge of pain.

Maybe you are reading this and are thinking about how silly and ridiculous I sound. A Christian afraid of dying?! Believe me, I used to think that of myself. Shame would fill me each time I struggled with this fear. Yet, I soon learned that I was not alone. In the last year, I received emails and private messages from other Christians who also struggle with anxiety, and have had the same fear of dying.

Over the years, I have learned that God has given us all the tools we need to overcome our anxieties. These tools are found in the Word of God. Once I realized that my fear of dying was beginning to affect me in a physical and unhealthy way, I turned to the scripture. There, I found exactly what I needed to turn my fear into peace!

Why I No Longer Fear Dying

God knows how many days I have left to live on this earth. In Psalms 39, we are told that God knows when we lay down to sleep, and when we rise for the day. He knows our thoughts before we speak them. In fact, God has a book with my name on it, and He is keeping track of every little detail about me, including how much time I have left on this earth. “The Lord knoweth the days of the upright: and their inheritance shall be forever.” – Psalms 37:18

God has already declared what my end will be. When God moved upon the face of the waters in Genesis 1, He was putting thought into His creation. He was thinking about the little details He would give to each and everyone of us. If God put so much thought into His creation, wouldn’t He put some thought into how His creation would end? From the moment I was formed in my mothers womb, God had a plan for how my life would end. Not only that, His plan will bring Him glory, and it will please Him! “Declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times the things that are not yet done, saying, My counsel shall stand, and I will do all my pleasure.” – Isaiah 46:10

God is holding my years, days, hours, minutes, and seconds in His hand. I trust God’s Word. He said that the death of His Son, Jesus Christ would be an atonement for my sins. He said that I can stand before His throne spotless, and blameless. If I can trust God to hold my eternity in His hand, why can’t I trust Him to hold my life in His hand? God has a plan for my life, but I can’t live that plan if I’m consumed with worry about my death! “But I trusted in thee, O LORD: I said, Thou are my God. My times are in thy hand: deliver me from the hand of mine enemies, and from them that persecute me.” – Psalms 31:14-15

I will not live one second longer than what God wills me to live. God is not going to allow anything to get in the way of His plan for me! What comfort to know that my death will not be some accidental mistake, or afterthought! God has set an appointment for my death, and He’s going to make sure I keep it! “Seeing his days are determined, the number of his months are with thee, thou hast appointed his bounds that he cannot pass;” – Job 14:5

No matter how I will die, God will be with me. Heart attack, stroke, cancer, accident, murder – it doesn’t matter how I die, God has promised to be with me! No matter where I go, I can never outrun God’s hand. When my appointed time is up, God’s hand will be there to lead me Home, in fact, He may pick me up and hold me until we get there! “If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.” – Psalms 39:8-10

These precious promises God left in His Word are for us to take a hold of, and apply to our lives. If I trust Gods plans for me, then I don’t need to fear death. Trusting God is not about feelings or emotions, it is about action. I have to choose to trust God’s Word. I have to choose to commit Scripture to memory. I have to choose to quote these Scripture when I feel anxiety or fear. Only then can God turn my anxiety into peace!

“Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.” – Isaiah 26:3

“No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me.”

– Keith Getty and Stuart Townend

When Silence is Loud

Published on by Carrie NehmerLeave a comment

Sitting on my couch, I watched the setting sun cast it’s long shadows across my living room wall. The silence in the house was so loud, it deafened me.

Yes, you read that right. I said the silence was deafening.

I come from a large, loud family. Even when we didn’t have friends over, our house was still crowded, and loud. As the middle child of five sisters, I was able to experience the joys of sharing a bedroom, bathroom, and even my clothes with a crowd!

Eventually, I moved out of my noisy house and into a noisy, college dormitory. There, I shared a room with 4 other girls. Our house had eleven people living in it. Talk about crazy!

After living my entire life with crazy, loud females, you would think I’d get my own place just so I could enjoy some silence. Instead, I met a really handsome guy and decided to get married. I went from sharing a noisy dormitory to living in an apartment with my husband. I worked a part time job until giving birth to our first child.

I have spent the last 16 years raising 4 children. When it was time for my youngest child to go to school full-time, and for me to enjoy silent days at home, I found myself taking care of my sick husband.

Finally the day arrived. My husband was going back to work full-time after being home nearly two years. In my excitement, I made a list of fun house projects, stacked several books in a neat pile by my chair (pictured above), and filled my calendar with empty days.

Except, instead of leisurely resting in the sweet joys of silence, I became a tight ball of nervous energy. I had never truly been alone for more than an hour or two, and I wasn’t used to the silence. I soon learned that I was not a person who loved complete silence. I would much rather try to have a conversation with my husband over the craziness of our 4 loud children, than to be in an empty, quiet house alone. There is a lesson in the Bible for every phase of our lives, and I soon learned the benefits silence.

We need silent moments in our lives to remind us that God is still God. We get so busy in our day-to-day crazy, that we allow the noise and confusion of the world to creep into our hearts. We become weighted down over news of future wars, corrupt politics, and raging teenagers with guns. Yet, when we take time to shut the world out a few minutes everyday, and read the Word of God, we can find comfort in the truth that God is still God! Those worries are not for us to figure out. Just be still and see what the Lord can do! Someday, He is going to come and make everything that’s wrong in this world, right!

“Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.” – Psalms 46:10

We need quiet moments in our lives so we can see God’s miracles. Four months ago, my husband was in the final phase of his cancer treatments (read Gabe’s cancer story here). During that time, my life was crazy. I pretty much felt like a single mom as my husband was often too sick to partake in normal “daddy duties”. During those crazy days, I was too busy to see the miracles God was performing. It wasn’t until it was all over, and I found myself sitting in a quiet empty house, that the reality of our situation really hit me. My husband had survived cancer – twice! And although we struggled more financially than we ever had, we somehow not only survived, but thrived!

“It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord .” – Lamentations 3:26

We need quiet moments in our lives so God can give us confidence for our future. In Isaiah chapter 30, God warns Israel to not seek help from the Egyptians. He warns them that if they do, it will be to their own detriment. God advised Israel that their safety relied not in running for their lives, but in staying in the quietness of where they were.

Sometimes, we need to rest in the quietness of where we are. The shadows of our future can easily alarm us, causing us to fear tomorrow. We become tempted to follow the worlds solutions, rather than following God’s Word. Don’t give in to that temptation. Instead, wait quietly in the silence of where God has you now. Listen to His voice, and follow His Word. In doing this, we can have confidence in our tomorrows!

“For thus saith the Lord God , the Holy One of Israel; In returning and rest shall ye be saved; in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength: and ye would not.” – Isaiah 30:15

They say that silence is golden. I have yet to experience the physical riches of silence! I have learned, however, that there are many spiritual benefits to having a quiet moment.

Meditation Monday – Get Off That Couch!

Published on by Carrie NehmerLeave a comment

We all like to talk about what we’re “going to do”, but what are people saying about what you’ve already done?

Whether it’s getting a job, fulfilling a new years resolution, or accomplishing something for the Lord, you will only find failure and disappointment if you stay on the couch. Hard work and a little sweat will not only bring victory in your life, it will make you rich!

“In all labour there is profit: but the talk of the lips tendeth only to penury.” – Proverbs 14:23

Meditation Monday – Wise Lips

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Have you ever stopped mid-sentence and wished you could take back your words? Unfortunately we must suffer the consequences of our spoken words! If you find yourself walking away from conversations feeling regretful for what came of your mouth, it’s time to start limiting your words. Give advice only when asked, don’t offer information about others not present, and set a limit on your words. In doing this, you are practicing the art of wisdom!

“In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise.” –
Proverbs 10:19

Meditation Monday – Stand Still

Published on by Carrie NehmerLeave a comment

When life turns crazy, we tend tend to turn crazy with it. We flutter from place to place, trying desperately to fix our own problems. When we come to the end of our own abilities we look around in panic and cry out to God, “help Lord, I can’t fix this!”

God wants to reveal His power to us in a great way, and He wants us to watch in awe! It’s only when we are standing still, our eyes fully on Him and not out problems, that we can see the salvation of the Lord!

“And Moses said unto the people, Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord , which he will shew to you to day: for the Egyptians whom ye have seen to day, ye shall see them again no more for ever. The Lord shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace.” – Exodus 14:13‭-‬14