Tag: Christian walk

4 Things the Pandemic of 2020 Taught Me

Published on by Carrie Nehmer1 Comment

     The Pandemic of 2020, where we were all told to stay home, or people would die.  Where we all rushed to the grocery stores to stock up on rice, beans, and toilet paper.  Where many of us lost our jobs overnight, and we all sat back in shock as we watched stock markets plummet.  Where schools were canceled for the rest of the year and millions of families started homeschooling overnight.  Where daily White House briefings became a normal thing. 

     The Pandemic of 2020, where it took Americans about a month to realize that the experts didn’t really know what they were talking about.  Where we realized that we were no longer free to choose what was best for ourselves or our families. Where churches were taken to court for opening their doors, and neighbors were asked to snitch on each other.

     Today is May 4, 2020, two-and-a-half months after the pandemic began, and I can’t find cleaning supplies or toilet paper in the grocery store.  Meat is being rationed, and many of the shelves in the grocery store still look bare. I feel like I have to sneak out of my house if I want to go somewhere, and everywhere I look, people are wearing face masks and gloves.  Oh, and we are all still being told to stay in our houses. 

     In this world gone crazy, one has to take a step back and ask what could possibly be the good in all of this?  Is there a silver lining amid the uncertainty we now call our new normal?  What lessons have we learned from the Pandemic of 2020?

What the Pandemic of 2020 Taught Me:

  •  WORRY IS POINTLESS – In the weeks leading up to the Pandemic, I had been agonizing and worrying over things that just seemed impossible to me.  What would my summer hours be at my new job?  What would I do with my younger boys while I was at work?  Would I still be able to work in the ministries I volunteered for every summer?  How would we afford the new car payment AND our daughters graduation party?  What about our family vacation and the kids summer camps?  I was losing sleep over these bothersome worries.  What I didn’t know at the time was those worries that I was sweating over and pouring out to God in my prayers would soon become invalid worries. But God knew that all along.  He knew that I would get laid off from my job, and that the entire world would close down, postponing indefinitely any plans I had made. He also knew that in light of this virus we were facing, I would just be grateful to have my family around me!  The Pandemic of 2020 taught me that worry is pointless – just trust God!
  •  IT’S OK TO SLOW DOWN – Getting up early and rushing to work, then rushing back home to clean the house and get dinner prepped before rushing out the door again to pick up groceries and stop at the post office before getting the kids from school.  Then there was the rush to get the kids to their doctor and orthodontist appointments, before rushing back home to finish homework and scarf down dinner, only so we could rush out the door again!  There was always a basketball, soccer, violin, and drama practice.  Then there were the special programs, recitals, and church activities to rush to after the practices!  All of that rushing made the days pass too quickly.  Our schedules were filled to overflowing and we longed for a day, just ONE day, to slow down!  Then, suddenly, overnight, we all had time.  We slept in, we sipped our coffee, and we were secretly relieved that life was canceled.  Husbands and wives talked and loved more, kids played and laughed more, and there was peace and quiet, and no rushing. What did I learn from the Pandemic of 2020?  I learned that it’s OK to slow down!
  • CONTENTMENT IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER – Before the Pandemic of 2020 I found a lot to be discontent about. I wanted new flooring in my living room and the bathroom to be remodeled, and while I was at it, why not a new house?  I was bummed that this summer we would be camping in our tent and NOT a rented camper. I was discontent with the scramble of our schedules, my kid’s attitudes, and could someone PLEASE get me a new wardrobe?!?  Want to know something funny about world-wide pandemics?  When you learn that the whole world has hit the pause button, you suddenly become grateful for what you already have.  Your heart sighs with contentment as you gaze over your chipped coffee mug at the sight of your entire family sitting safe and sound in your less-than house. The Pandemic of 2020 made me see the value of what I had in front of me, instead of what I couldn’t have!
  • ONLY GOD KNOWS – In the early days of the pandemic, Dr. Fauci and Dr. Brix quickly became household names as the nation tuned in for the daily Covid-19 briefings.  We hung on every word as we learned more about the coronavirus and what it’s effects would be to our livelihoods.  Over time, we began to notice discrepancies in what we were being told.  One day we were told to get enough food to last a couple weeks so we could stay at home, and the next week we were reprimanded for “hoarding” toilet paper and cleaners. We were told not to wear masks unless we were on the “front lines”, and weeks later our governors passed laws requiring us to wear masks. We were told millions would die from the virus, only to recently learn that the “modules were off”. It’s slowly become clear that even the experts don’t really know what’s going on.  But I know One who knows all, sees all, and is all! Even the most talented experts on earth are going to make mistakes, because they are human.  We shouldn’t be putting our trust in anything that man has to say, but putting all our trust in God’s Word! 

     I’ve learned a few other things during the Pandemic of 2020.  I’ve learned how to make whipped coffee and my own cleaning sprays.  I learned that I feel better about myself when I wake up at the same time every day, and that includes showering and getting dressed, too.  I’ve learned the importance of keeping in touch with friends and family, and that I am more of a “people” person than I realized.  Most importantly, I’ve learned that if you put all your trust in God’s Word, everything else will fall in place.

What To Do When Life Kinda Stinks

Published on by Carrie NehmerLeave a comment

“I can’t do anything right,” my daughter cried! “No one has called me back for a job, I failed my driving test, and my brain froze completely up when I was taking my ACT!  Why am I such a loser?”

My mind raced with all the possible things a mother should say, but I finally opted for silence. (Hey, the Bible says that even a fool is counted wise when he keeps silent, and I was just trying to be wise!) After 25 minutes of my daughter’s sobbing (and my silent prayers for wisdom), I finally said, “It’s going to be OK, baby girl.  Now.  It’s time to put your chin up and try again!” 

Then, I pulled into McDonald’s and treated her to a mocha frappe.  Because that is what every good mom does.  Right?

Young or old, we’ve all been there!  Plans that were so well laid, just crumble down around our feet.  We find ourselves back where we started, asking ourselves, “what next?”  So what exactly should we do when life kinda stinks?

Remember God’s blessings.  It may be hard to stop and count your blessings when you are walking out of the BMV empty-handed, but you gotta start somewhere!  Think back to your past accomplishments and thank God for the ability He gave you to achieve those goals.  Start naming the people God has placed in your life to direct and guide you.  Think of your friends and family!  God has blessed you so much, don’t forget that!

“In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:15

Leave the past behind.  You can’t move forward in your life if you are chained to all that is wrong in your past.  It’s OK to grieve for what was lost, but don’t stay there too long.  The longer you dwell in self-pity over ruined plans, the longer it will take you to accomplish your goals!  Sometimes moving forward means not looking back.

“…this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 3:13 & 14

Realize you can’t do anything in your own strength.  It’s easy to pat ourselves on the back when things are going right, but as soon as something goes wrong we cry out to God, “why did You do this to me?”  Reality is, we can’t do anything without God!  It is He who gives us the strength and wisdom to accomplish our goals.  When our plans go up in smoke, more than likely, we were relying on our own strength, and not God’s!  As Christians, we should remember that God can do His best work through us when we are completely empty of ourselves.

“…My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness  most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9

Make sure your plan is also God’s plan.  Have you ever found yourself standing with your well-laid plans in shambles at your feet, and realized that maybe you should have asked God about your plans, first?  Me too!  Asking God to direct us and show us His will before we make plans, can save us from a lot of heart-ache later.  Before making plans, set aside some time to pray about it.  Then, open your heart to hear God’s answer.  Sometimes He will speak to you through your daily Bible reading, other times through the Sunday message from your Pastor.  God has also placed people in our lives who can give us good advice.  Seek counsel from your Pastor or a friend who has been saved and serving the Lord a little longer than you.  Remember, God promised to give wisdom to those who ask!

“Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end.” – Proverbs 19:20

Get up and try again.  Wipe those tears off your face!  I am always teaching my children to not allow fear to rule their lives.  Whether it is a failed relationship, a lost promotion at work, or – even a failed drivers test, we can’t allow fear of failing to keep us locked in our comfort zones!  God has promised that we are more than conquerors through Christ.  That means, that through Christ, we have the power to conquer our fears.  The victory is not in defeating our fears, but in our obedience to God despite our fear!

“Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.” – Romans 8:37

The next time you feel like life kinda stinks, and you just want to curl up into the fetal position on the floor and cry, start counting your blessings.  After you’ve named several reasons to be thankful you are alive, leave the past and all your stinky failures behind.  Once the stink starts to clear up a little, you’ll be able to realize that any strength you do have comes from God, so make sure you consult Him before making new plans.  Then, dry up those tears, get up off the floor, and try again!

HOW TO BE A BUSY (TIRED) MOM AND STILL HAVE QUIET TIME WITH GOD

Published on by Carrie Nehmer1 Comment

No matter what phase of life you are in, rolling out of bed is not always an easy task. Let’s face it. The alarm clock can easily become a means of venting your frustration by hitting the snooze button as hard as you can! If you have kids under the age of 5, an alarm clock is not even necessary, as you’re more likely to be awakened by the wails of a crying baby or the tug of chubby little hands, than you are the sound of a buzzer! Once you finally get out of bed, the rest of the morning can be a blur!

Does this morning struggle sound familiar to you? Then so must this question: “how can I possibly have quiet time with God?”

I asked that question so many times during my earlier adult years! Four kids and 17 years later, here is what I finally learned.

Get out of bed. Just do it. It took me years to finally accept that no matter how hard I tried, I would not crack my Bible open on a consistent basis unless I got up earlier than I already was. For a couple of years, that meant I was rolling out of bed at 5:30! (These days my kids have healthier sleep habits, and that means extra zzz’s for me!) You won’t get to read your Bible or have time in prayer if you don’t plan to get up earlier than you are right now!

Prepare the night before.  There’s nothing like getting cozy in your chair, open Bible in your lap, only to glance in the corner of your living room at the baskets of laundry needing to be folded!  Being an A-type personality, I tend to struggle sitting down for 30 minutes of quiet time with God if there are things waiting to be done. That’s why it’s so important to prepare for your morning with God the night before. Set your timer for 15 minutes before bed, and get those distractions out of your way!  Doing so will give you a good feeling when you settle in your chair to meet with God.

Make some GOOD coffee! I used to HATE coffee.  However, right after my third child was born I was starting to resemble a walking zombie!  I had a desire to spend time with God in the mornings, but I could barely get through 10 minutes of reading before I was nodding off to sleep in my chair.  I knew I wouldn’t grow in the Lord unless something changed.  So one morning, after I dropped my older kids off to school, I stopped at Meijer.  I bought a Bunn coffee maker, and everything I needed to make coffee, including a fancy chocolate creamer.  After that, I began to look forward to my mornings!  There is nothing like sitting down with an open Bible in one hand and a freshly home-brewed cup of bold Starbucks coffee in the other!

Make a “spot”.  Spending mornings with God can be easier if you have a “spot” that is only for that purpose.  I have claimed a seat in my living room that has an end table nearby.  I keep my Bible, prayer journal, and whatever devotional I’m currently using, in a neat pile on this table along with some pens, and highlighters.  This way, everything I need is within easy reach.  Throwing a comfy pillow and soft blanket into your chair is an added bonus for comfort. Loving the place you will be meeting with God is essential for success!

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR BEST-LAID PLANS FAIL

Let’s face it.  If you have kids, you can’t always have plans!  Did your kids decide they were going to get up an hour earlier with you?  Did your baby wake you up every hour all night long?  It’s OK.  Relax!  You are not out of God’s will if you need to feed your children or get another hour of sleep! Here are three things you can do when your plans for Quiet Time with God, fail.

1 – “Listen” to your Bible. When your kids are happily playing, and your baby is finally snoozing, but it’s time for you to get working, plug in your earbuds and listen to your Bible!  There are several Bible apps out there, but my favorite is YouVersion.  There were many mornings when my children were younger, that I had to listen to the Bible, rather than read it.

2 – Read in the evenings. Exchange that mug of coffee for a cup of tea!  Once you’ve put the kids to bed, and the lights are turned down lower for the evening, devote 30 minutes to your Bible reading.

3 – Don’t give up.  There were times in my younger parenting days, that I could only spend a couple days a week with the Lord.  My heart desired more, and there were days I could feel that I needed more, but I physically could not do more.  When you are in this stage of life, it is important to not be hard on yourself, it WILL get better!  It is also important to not give up your goals!  As your children grow, they need to see mommy reading her Bible, even if it’s not every day.  Eventually, they will be old enough to ask, “hey mom, do you think it would be OK if I read my Bible with you in the mornings?”  Um, YES!

 

How to Love Your Husband while Living in a Feminist Culture

Published on by Carrie Nehmer1 Comment

We live in a twisted world, where purity and innocence are despised and made fun of. A world where a woman can accuse a man of anything, and we have to believe her not because of the evidence provided, but because she is a woman. With one click of the TV remote, we can find talk shows, sitcoms, and movies that depict men as dummies, being led around by the whiles of some female influence.

Boys are no longer allowed to be boys. They are discouraged from getting dirty or being loud. They are taught that not only can a girl do anything a boy does, but girls can do it better. Boys no longer have confidence in who they were created to be, so they grow up confused and lazy, sometimes amounting to nothing. They live in their parent’s basements playing video games for a living. Not living a real life, but an alternate reality, where they can be anything they want to be without ridicule.

Few are the homes where wives respect their husbands, and husbands cherish their wives. Children are given a place of eminence, creating discord, and conflict between parents. Men are no longer leaders, and if they do try to lead, they are belittled and publicly humiliated.

Standing in the middle of this “dumbing down” of men in society is the Christian wife. Exactly how can a Christian wife love her husband while living in a feminist culture?

As of today, my husband and I have been married for 19 years. Our story is one I love to tell, and one that has been blessed with God’s grace. The strong and happy marriage my husband and I enjoy today is not because we followed a certain set of rules, but because we both chose to follow the path that Christ set before us in our marriage. Some of this path we’ve walked these last 19 years was a little rocky. There have been days I wondered if I still loved my husband. There were even moments when I wanted to throw a fit and walk out the door! However, with each difficulty we faced, my husband and I chose to humble ourselves, not just to each other, but to God. And here we are today, by God’s grace, celebrating 19 happy years!

I would like to share with you what I have learned about loving my husband when the world around me is seemingly going in the opposite direction.

5 ways you can love your husband while living in a feminist culture:

Use the Word of God as your marriage manual. The most important lesson I have learned in 19 years of marriage, is that the Bible needs to be our go-to-guide for marriage. Wives, we need to be careful that we are not allowing ourselves to be influenced by worldly doctrines. In other words, don’t count on the latest edition of Family Circle, or Brides to clue you in on how to love your husband!

From the latest Hollywood couples to the most recent romance movies, everyone has their eyes glued to the “stars” when it comes to defining love. Did you know, that in Orange County (home to Hollywood), the divorce rate is highest in the nation? So who is everyone in Hollywood going to when looking for help with their marriage? Well, many of them are going to Dr. John M. Gottman, the best selling author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, Dr. Gottman is one of America’s most influential therapists, and his work has been nationally recognized by major media outlets across the globe. Yet, did you know that the most renowned authority on marriage was married 3 times?

Another famous doctor that America loves to turn to for marital advice is TV icon, Dr. Phil. Known for publicly counseling couples whose marriages are on the brink of divorce, Dr. Phil claims he has a “formula for making any marriage work”. Many American’s would be surprised to know that their beloved doctor is not an actual licensed or practicing doctor, and has been married twice!

Dear Christian Wife, we should not be looking at the rich or famous to tell us how to love our husbands. We should be looking to the One who created and established the first marriage in human history! (Genesis 2:21-25) God has promised that if we ask for wisdom on any matter, He will give it to us.

“If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” – James 1:5

Have a personal relationship with God that is separate from your husband. Every day for the last 19 years, I have watched my husband get up well before the sun rises. He makes himself a huge cup of coffee and sits down with his Bible. When he is finished with his reading, he finds a corner in the house where no one can bother him and prays before going to work. Then, every evening before bed, my husband takes my hand, and we both kneel together in prayer.  I truly believe that I am living a blessed life today because of my husband’s faithfulness to God!  He has had a steady relationship with the Lord, that has only grown as the years have passed.

Somehow, in the early years and craziness of having 4 children and walking around in a constant state of exhaustion, I had grown to depend on my husband’s relationship with God to get me through.  I was casting all my cares at my husband’s feet when he walked in the door after work, and not at the feet of Jesus!  I had to explain every detail of everything bad in my day.  Not only did I have to explain every detail, but I also had to make sure he felt just as miserable as I did! Why did I do this?  Because I had somehow allowed my own personal relationship with God to slip. I assumed that because my husband was doing right and had a relationship with God, it would cover up my own unfaithfulness.

“Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.” – 1 Peter 5:7

Wives, in order to love our husbands, especially in this feminist culture we live in today, we need to have a strong relationship with God.  We can not fully love our husbands if we don’t first love the Lord!  Leaning on our husbands for our spiritual well-being will only give us tired and resentful husbands.  When we focus on a personal relationship with God, we become stronger wives, capable of loving our husbands the way God intended us to.

“A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.” – Proverbs 27:15

“…the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping.” – Proverbs 19:13b

Respect your husband with your words.  By worldly standards, we are taught to respect all races, cultures, and genders – except men.  We are pretty much told that men are pigs and that we don’t have to respect them.

Coco Chanel, French designer, and businesswoman in the early 1900s was quoted as saying, “as long as you know most men are like children, you know everything.”

Brigitte Bardot, fashion model, actress, and one of the best-known sex symbols of the 1950s and ’60s was quoted as saying, “men are beasts, and even beasts don’t behave as they do.”

American singer and actress, Cher, once said, “the trouble with some woman is that they get all excited over nothing – and then marry him.”

These are just a few of many examples of public man-bashing that has desensitized women over the last century.  Women are so used to this mindset, in fact, that it has crept into our Christian homes.

Wives, we can love our husbands in a feminist world-gone-crazy, by respecting our husbands when we talk about them.  Respecting our husbands doesn’t mean we give up our freedom to voice our opinions from time to time.  It doesn’t mean we become slaves to their every whim and desire.

Respect means to hold someone in high regard. What does your husband do well?  These are the things you should say in front of your friends when you get together for a girls night out!  What are the qualities about your husband that drew you to him?  These are the qualities you should point out to your children, mother or sister.   In 1 Peter chapter 3, Peter admonishes Christian wives to have “chaste” conversations.  A chaste conversation is a conversation that is pure in thought.  We can’t have chaste conversations while bashing our husbands behind their backs!  Wives, we can love our husbands by respecting them with our words!

“…while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.” – 1 Peter 1: 2

Don’t try to change him.  How many women go into a marriage thinking they can change their husbands?  I’m raising my hand!  When I was dating my husband, I thought I would be able to get him to change his sense of style.  I didn’t get too bent out of shape over his rolled up long sleeved shirts or his white socks with black shoes, because I really believed I would get him to change once we were married.  That definitely didn’t happen!

The world today is all about changing men from being what God created them to be, into something that fits into the crazy ideas of feminist culture.  Men who attempt to change their gender are applauded and held in high regard.  Society wants men to be emotional and gentle, with no deep passions or standards.  A man who is passionate about his freedom, guns, or God is no longer politically correct.  Wives, we can love our husbands by not trying to change them from what they were created to be.  Trying to change your husband to be anything less than the man God put in him, will make for an unhappy and unhealthy marriage.

God made men to be strong protectors and providers.  They were created to take care of their wives and children.  What are your husband’s strengths?  Those strengths are God-given and should be applauded, not discouraged.  Wives, let’s encourage our husbands to be men!

“Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong.” –  1 Corinthians 16:13

Realize that your husband is not a mind reader.  That was the only request my husband made of me before we said our vows.  He was afraid I would expect him to know what I was thinking or feeling without having to tell him.  He asked that instead of getting angry or hurt that he didn’t pick up on my hints or clues, that I would just be straight up with him and tell him what was going on.

Part of the recent feminist movement today is that women are right because they are women. They want society to ignore the idea that facts must be provided before a man is hauled off to jail.  In so doing, we often exchange truth for emotions and ruin innocent lives.

Wives, we can love our husbands in this mixed up society by not expecting our husbands to read our minds.  As nice as it would be to have our husbands emotionally in tune with our feelings, that is not realistic.  If you are upset with your husband for something he has said or done, calmly present the facts to him.

In these perilous days we live in, the line between what is worldly and what is godly can easily become blurred. Feminism runs so strong, that Christian wives are forgetting how to love their husbands.  Recent statistics show that of Christians who attend church regularly, a whopping 38% end in divorce.  That is only a %12 percent difference by national standards!  Dear Christian wives, let’s work on being a light to the world.  Let’s work on having happier marriages.  Let’s love our husbands!