Meditation Monday – Sleepless Nights

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Insomnia usually goes hand in hand with anxiety. It can be a brutal cycle that causes the believer to cry, plead, and bargain with God!  I wish I could say I have learned to accept sleepless nights, but I still struggle. 

I have, however, learned a few truths about insomnia. God sees your struggle, He cares about it, and He wants to comfort you through it! Eventually you will sleep again. Meanwhile, turn on a loud fan, plug in your Bible reading app, and settle in for a sleepless night of fellowship with God. 

“I call to remembrance my song in the night: I commune with mine own heart: and my spirit made diligent search.” –  Psalms 77:6

Meditation Monday – Our Steps

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Do you ever feel like everything in your life is falling apart, despite your best efforts? The Bible tells us that we were not made to direct our own steps. We were made to have our steps directed by God. You can know real peace in your mind – and your life – when you allow God to lead you! 

Jeremiah 10:23 “O LORD , I know that the way of man is not in himself: it is not in man that walketh to direct his steps.” 

Proverbs 16:9 “A man’s heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps.”

Meditation Monday – Leaving and Reaching

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Have you just come out of a long trial?  Maybe someone in your family was sick, or you experienced the death of a loved one. Your head might still be spinning from the emotions of your trial.  Now that it is over, you are wondering, “how in the world do I get back to a normal life”?  

The Bible tells us to “forget the things which are behind.”  All the pain, fear, and worry of your trial needs to be left behind .  You might be thinking, “but that trial was SO HARD, I don’t know how I could possibly forget it!”  God has given each of us the ability to make the pain of our trials a distant memory.  Once we get on our knees and surrender the pain of our past to the Lord, He will give us the strength to press on towards the prize!

“Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 3:13 & 14

 

What Cancer Taught Us

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It is early morning, and as I write this, my house is gloriously quiet.  My older children are still sleeping, but I hear whispers from my younger boys room.  Gabe is still sound asleep, the effects of chemo having drained his body.  Sipping my steaming mug of coffee, words are beginning to form in my heart, and the urgency to write becomes too strong for me to avoid any longer.

This past Wednesday was Gabe’s last chemo treatment.  We walked into the cancer clinic with high spirits and big smiles.  We are praying that a scan he had Monday will declare my husband NED (no evidence detected), and then this chapter in our lives can be over.  The story won’t be over, however.

Once cancer has touched your life so closely, it never completely leaves your life.

There will always be tests and blood work.  The knowledge that a recurrence could happen at any time will always linger in the back of our minds.

However, we won’t be consumed by our story, because we will be too busy living it.

Before the chemo was able to get it’s gripping arms around my husbands body, we celebrated by going out for lunch.  As we ate, we talked of all God had done for us in the last chapter of our lives.  What did we learn?  How would our lives be different? What advice would we give others?

This morning, I realized I HAD to share just a few things we learned in the last two years.  I hope that maybe it can help someone else going through a difficult time in their life.

What Cancer Taught Us

1 – The most important thing we learned from cancer is that “there is no pit that is so deep, that God is not deeper still”.  I  had grown up hearing that phrase quoted from the pulpit of my church, but I never really understood the meaning until I found myself in a pit.  Those first weeks after my husband was diagnosed with colon cancer were the most emotional I had ever experienced in my life.  Those were days I would come home from taking my kids to school and just cry.  Not just a few tears, but gut-wrenching cries, where I was on my knees, sobbing, begging God to heal my husband.  Where the fear that I would become a single mother was so real, I was in full-blown panic mode.  I remember during those days, watching my husband sit on the couch, immune to the chaos and noise of our children around him.  Watching him stare off into space, I wasn’t sure if he was thinking, or in shock, but I would see tears slipping down his cheeks.  Those days were hard.  Those days, we were most certainly in a deep, dark pit.  Yet, just when we thought we couldn’t get any deeper, God would reveal Himself to us in some small way.  Whether it was comforting scripture that would come to mind, or a text from a dear friend, God was certainly there in the pit with us.  Cards, gifts, phone calls, hugs, and hundreds of christian brothers and sisters in Christ, some we didn’t even know, offering to pray for us, were all gifts from our loving God.  Gifts that brought us such comfort, that gave us such strength, we eventually found we were no longer in that pit.  How wonderful our God is!

2 – We also learned that you should never waste time questioning God.  It’s hard to see what purpose could come from difficult trials in our lives, but be assured, God has a plan!  And while you are stuck on trying to understand why God would allow this trial into your life, you are wasting precious time that God wants to use to bless you, and bring you closer to Him!  He loves you so deeply, and doesn’t want you to go through your trial alone.  He wants to bring you close to Himself, to hide you under His wings, to comfort you.  God can’t do those things if you are too busy wondering what His thoughts and plans are.  You have to just let go, and trust Him completely. Once you let go, you will be flooded with peace that you won’t be able to explain!

3- Lastly, My husband and I learned that you just can’t go through something as difficult as cancer without God.  Don’t wait until you are facing a trial in your life to build a relationship with God.  Read your Bible and speak to God in prayer every day.  Go to church.  Fellowship as much as you can with your brothers and sisters in Christ.  Don’t allow your trial to keep you from doing the things God wants you to do.  Just don’t!  I have seen people, suffering from life’s hard blows, remove themselves from God and His people, because they were too overwhelmed by their circumstances.  Instead of making life easier for themselves, they only made their circumstances harder to bear.  God never intended us to go through hard times alone.  He wants to envelope us in His love and grace.  He wants to reveal Himself to us in such personal ways, we could never again doubt His love and care for us.  Yet how can God do that if we are backing away from Him?  Don’t leave God in a trial, and don’t wait until your are in the middle of one to build a relationship with Him.  Draw close to Him now.  Remain faithful to God now.  Allow Him to bless you in your trials.

So here we are, at the end of this long journey.  Yet, now that we are at the end, it seems as though maybe it wasn’t that long after all.  The valley was hard, but the fellowship with God along the way was very sweet!

Meditation Monday – Sustaining Care

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A large bridge needs many strong cables and cords to sustain it in the air. These cables help bear the weight of all who cross it. The cables don’t remove the weight that bridge must hold, they only offer enough support that the bridge is not damaged or weakened.
How many times do we get angry because God won’t remove uncomfortable or difficult situations from our lives? Scripture tells us that God wants us to cast our burdens upon Him so He can sustain us.  To sustain means to provide what is needed to survive and to help bear the weight. 

Have a problem in your life that’s too heavy to bear? Cast it upon the Lord! He will stretch out His loving arms and support you through your difficult time, providing strength to get you through!

“Cast thy burden upon the Lord , and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.” – Psalms 55:22


Meditation Monday – Lonely Trials

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Feeling alone in your trial? Some trials can be so difficult, they take your breath away. You tell yourself no one can understand, and are even convinced that people are “talking”. Often, when we are in the midst of a trial, we begin to pull away from our support system, believing no one really cares.

Don’t let the devil fool you into thinking you are alone! The Bible urges believers to help each other out in times of need. If you are pulling away from your brothers and sisters in Christ, you are robbing yourself from God’s blessing in your trial! If you are a child of God, you are never alone! There is a Christian brother or sister somewhere, waiting to help “carry” your load.

“Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together…” – Hebrews 10:25a

“Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.” – Galatians 6:2

What Makes a Good Friend

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This article is lovingly dedicated to my friends. Thank you for being there for me, especially these last couple of years! You have listened to my fears, hugged me as I cried, prayed for me, and been there for me at a moment’s notice. You have taught me by your examples how to be a friend, and you have loved me, despite me.  I love you guys!!

Pacing the busy church foyer, my 13-year-old self tried to muster up courage. 
Realizing I just needed to take the plunge, I walked towards the girl.  She had perfect blonde hair that flowed past her shoulders.  Her dress was a beautiful flower pattern, with puffs and ruffles in all the right places.  Looking into her questioning, blue eyes, I nearly lost my resolve. 

“Um…I just wanted to know….what do I have to do to be your guy’s friend.  I mean….do I need to change the way I dress or do my hair?  I just really want to be your friend!”

Smiling at me, the girl gently placed her hand on my arm.

“You don’t need to change.  Just give it some more time.  It will get better, I promise!”

Little did I know then, that 26 years later, that very girl would be one of my dearest and closest friends!

I am in no way an expert on friendship, but I am very blessed by the many friends God has given me.  Some friends go way back and others are newer, but they all are very dear to my heart. 

Making friends is not something that has ever been easy for me.  Approaching people I don’t know will make me break out in cold a sweat.  I say stupid things, and most of the time, come across as very awkward!  My husband tells me that I start to laugh in a high pitched voice, and even talk faster than normal, when I am talking to someone I don’t know. For me, making new friendships has required a lot of work, and, as my dear friend said to me so many years ago, patience.

Maybe you are in a church or a community where you find it difficult to make friends. Before you blame the church members, or even your neighbors, make sure you are following Biblical principles when trying to develop new friendships.

You mean, the Bible says something about making friends?

Yes.  In fact, there are several examples of friendships in the Bible.  David and Jonathan, Moses and Arron, Paul and Barnabas, and Jesus and His disciples are just a few friendships we can read about in the Bible.

WHAT MAKES A GOOD FRIEND

A Common Bond in Jesus Christ – While a Christian should be friendly to the unsaved world, he shouldn’t be best friends with them.  The Bible reminds us in James 4:4 – “whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.”  Don’t forget, that you can’t serve the world and Jesus. An unsaved individual is going to live like the world and is going to do worldly things.  Luke 16:13 – “No servant can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.”  

Be the First to Reach Out – To have friends, the Bible teaches that you have to take action.  You have to be the one that reaches out first.  If you are standing in the corner by yourself, hoping to be flocked by a group of new friends, you are going to be sadly disappointed!  It doesn’t mean the church is unfriendly, it means the church is busy serving.  Maybe they are as afraid of you as you are of them.  Put a smile on your face, get out of your corner, and reach out to others!  Get involved in the church, and be patient.  It takes time to make friends!  Proverbs 18:24 – “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

Forgive – Weather you are offended because someone isn’t friendly enough, or your closest and dearest friend has just stabbed you in the back (yes, I know that was extreme), you need to forgive.  Ephesians 4:32b – “…forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”  True friendship won’t seek revenge or hold a grudge.  Proverbs 24:29 – “Say not, I will do so to him as he hath done to me: I will render to the man according to his work.”

Be Generous – The best way to make a new friend is to be generous.  Inviting someone over to your home for a delicious meal is a wonderful first step in getting to know someone!  Meeting for coffee and dessert is another excellent way to form a friendship.  If you doubt this, just look to Jesus’ example.  He invited Himself over to Zacchaeus’s house for dinner!  Luke 19:5 – “Zacchaeus, make haste, and come down; for to day I must abide at thy house.”  If you have a friend in need, and you feel the Holy Spirit moving you to help, you better obey!  Not only does true friendship give when there is a need, but you will be rewarded for your generosity!  Proverbs 3:28 – “Do not say unto thy neighbor, go, and come again, and to morrow I will give when thou hast it by thee.”

Watch Your Tongue – That old saying, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all,” applies right here.  Ephesians 4:29 – “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” The worst thing a group of friends can do when they get together is gossip about other people.  In fact, if you have friends that sit around and gossip about your pastor’s wife, MAKE NEW FRIENDS.  Seriously, do I need to remind you about Miriam?  Numbers 12:1 – “And Miriam and Aaron spake against Moses because of the Ethiopian woman whom he had married”.  Miriam got her tongue wagging out there in that wilderness against Moses’ wife, and God called her out for it! “And the anger of the LORD was kindled against them…and, behold, Miriam became leprous, white as snow…And Miriam was shut out from the camp seven days.”  If you have tried to make friends and have found yourself still sitting in the corner alone, you need to examine your tongue.  What are you talking about when you are around other people?  Are your words pleasant?  Do they edify others in the Lord?  Proverbs 15:2 – “The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.”  Just because you have knowledge about someone else, doesn’t mean you should pour it all out for everyone to hear.  A true friend will speak pleasant words about everyone! Proverbs 16:28 – “A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends.”

Be Faithful – If you want to know who your friends are, look to see who is still standing after a storm.  Trials and difficult situations can often “weed out” friends.  Don’t desert your friend in their time of greatest need.  If you don’t understand what they are going through, you can still be there for them by telling them you are praying for them and that you love them!  Bring them a meal, send them a card, send them a text, or meet them for coffee!  Lend your ear, and if you are asked to share your opinion, do so with meekness.  Proverbs 17:17b – “A friend loveth at all times”.  Proverbs 27:10 – “Thine own friend, and they fathers’ friend, forsake not.”

Have Some Character – A true friend will bring out the best in you. When you leave their conversation, you will be strengthened in your own Christian walk.  Romans 14:19 – “Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another.”

Be Truthful – Truthfulness is a hard quality to find in a friend.  Often, one will tell a “little white lie” in order to avoid hurting a friend.  But the Bible tells us a good friend will tell the truth, even if it hurts.  Proverbs 27:6 – “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”  A true friend will gently share the truth, weather it is desirable to hear or not. It does not always have to be painful, however.  If done in the right spirit, it can be a blessing!  Proverbs 27:9 – “Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart; so doth the sweetness of a man’s friend by heart council.”  

If you are desiring to have more friends, or have found yourself in a place that seems unfriendly, be sure you are applying Biblical principles to your efforts.  At the end of the day, remember, you have a Friend Who will never leave you!  Just look to how Jesus treated His friends.  He fed them, laughed with them, healed them, taught them, ate with them, and He even washed their feet!  How does Jesus treat you?  Jesus is our best example of what makes a good friend!

John 15:15 – “Jesus said, I have called you friends.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Overcoming Anxiety Series #3 – What Does God Think About Anxiety?

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What if I were to tell you that Jesus may have had anxiety?  In Hebrews 4:15, we are told that Jesus was “in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.”  Not everyone suffers from true anxiety, but I believe I could argue that Jesus experienced anxiety at least once.

Picture Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane.  He knew He was about to be betrayed by a close friend. He knew He was going to be given an unfair trial, beaten mercilessly, and cruelly put to death.

“And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground.” – Luke 22:44

There is a rare condition called Hematidrosis, in which a person will sweat blood.  It is not known what actually causes this condition, but it has been known to happen under extreme cases of fear or stress.

In the first article on Overcoming Anxiety, I explained the possible causes of anxiety.  For some, anxiety can come from a spiritual need, or lack of spiritual strength.  For others, anxiety can be borne from a physical illness. Lastly, anxiety can be brought on by mental illness or stress.

While I don’t believe Jesus was afraid, I truly believe He was under great stress.  I have wondered if this was the moment He began to carry the weight of sin for the entire world!  How did Jesus respond to anxiety?  He prayed, and He continued on with His task.

So what does God think about anxiety?

God wants you to come to come to Him with your anxiety. Philippians 4:6 – “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.”  Psalm 55:22 – “Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.”

God wants you to trust Him.   Psalm 56:3 – “What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.”  Proverbs 3:5&6 – “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

God wants you to love Him perfectly.  1 John 4:18 – “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteh out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.”

God wants to give you strength. Isaiah 41:10 – “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.”

God doesn’t want you to be afraid. Joshua 1:9 – “Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.”

God wants to take care of your needs.  Philippians 4:19 – “But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.”

God wants to give you peace.  John 14:27 – “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”

God wants to give you rest.  Psalm 4:8 – “I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, LORD, only makest me dwell in safety.”  Matthew 11:28 – “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

God wants to give you power over your anxiety. –2 Timothy 1:7 – “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”

God wants you to think on lovely things.  Philippians 4:8 – “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”

God wants you to praise Him despite your anxiety.  Colossians 3:15 – “And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.”  Psalms 56:4 – “In God I will praise his word, in God I have put my trust; I will not fear what flesh can do unto me.”

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I sincerely pray that this series has been a help to some Christian struggling with anxiety. In the future I plan to add to this series, “Overcoming Anxiety“, so stay tuned! 

Meditation Monday – PEACE

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What is the one thing in your life that you would give ANYTHING to find peace regarding? Millions of people all around this world are searching for some kind of peace. Some will pay any amount of money to gain it. They will take any kind of drug, do any kind of dangerous action in order to gain the comfort of peace. However, it is never a lasting peace. As soon as the money is paid, the drug worn off, or the action complete, the unsettled feeling returns again.

The Bible says we can have PERFECT peace! Not only is this peace free, it is lasting, and it is available for anyone! Focus on trusting God with your everyday (and extraordinary) circumstances, and you will find peace that is so perfect, you won’t be able to explain it!

“Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.” -Isaiah 26:3

Overcoming Anxiety Series #2 – Six Helps for Christians With Anxiety.

Published on by Carrie Nehmer1 Comment

For the Christian, I believe the hardest part of overcoming anxiety is recognizing that it even exists.  As a believer, we know that there is peace to be found in Christ.  Scripture tells us that the load He has for us to bear is easy and light.  We are reminded to lay our burdens at the feet of Christ.

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” – Matthew 11:28-30

So is it wrong for a Christian to have anxiety?

Well,  yes….and no.

Luke 16:13 tells us “no servant can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.”

If we are going to carry Christ’s burden, which He promised was easy and light, we are going to have to lay down the burdens and cares of the world.  It is when we try to carry around both, that we often find ourselves struggling with stress and anxiety.

Remember, though, that Jesus said He will lighten our burdens, not remove them.  When I speak of “overcoming anxiety”, I am not trying to imply that we can get rid of it for good.   For the Christian, it is how we live with anxiety that helps us overcome it.

6 HELPS FOR CHRISTIANS WITH ANXIETY

  1. Remain Faithful to God. – The most important step a Christian with anxiety can do, is to remain faithful to God.  Don’t allow anxiety to take you out of church! I often found that when I forced myself to go to church, the singing and preaching was enough to distract me out of my near panic attacks.  If you have not already been faithful in your Bible reading and prayer time, now is the time to make that a habit!
  2. Think of Others. – The worst thing a Christian with anxiety can do, is to think about how they are feeling. Thinking about how horrible we feel, only intensifies our feelings and sucks us into unhealthy thought patterns.  The best remedy for self-thinking, is thinking of others.  Make a prayer list of others who are in difficult situations.  Bake some bread for a sick neighbor, bring some cookies to your local fire department, or write some get-well cards to sick church members.  Make it your daily goal to do something kind for someone else.
  3. Change Your Health Habits. – This is the hardest advice for me to follow, but it certainly is true.  Having healthy habits can reduce the severity of anxiety.  Making healthy eating choices can increase the amounts of vitamins and minerals our bodies need to stay healthy.  Exercising releases endorphin’s that not only make us feel good, but reduces stress.  Talking to an herbalist or nutritionist can also help.  Taking natural supplements your body may be lacking can not only decrease the duration of anxiety, it can help us remain healthy in countless other ways!
  4. Slow Down! – We live in a fast-paced society where there is always something to do.  Gone are the days where the family sits on the front porch in the evenings to listen to the crickets sing.  Instead, we are bustling our children from one activity to the next, feeling obligated to attend every birthday party, and every event offered. As Christians, we need to have a balance in our lives.  Make sure you carve out time for some rest and relaxation, at least once a week!  Family movie or game nights are great ways to have a relaxing evening!  Maybe relaxing to you is a day spent on a trail at the park, or walking through the mall.  However you decide to slow down, don’t allow yourself to feel guilty about it.
  5. Stay Busy! – Yes, I know, I just told you to slow down!  But I didn’t mean for you to slow your mind down.  When we find ourselves in endless cycles of worry, we need to direct our thoughts on other things.  Listening to music or audio books are great ways to keep your mind busy while going about your daily tasks.  Gardening, crafting, playing a musical instrument, taking an exercise class, writing in a journal, or walking around the block are other ways you can stay busy and focused.
  6. Surround Yourself with Positivity – It is important to remember that “a merry heart doeth good like a medicine”!  While it is not possible, nor practical, to be “merry” all day long, you can surround yourself with positivity.  It is easy for anyone suffering from anxiety to go into seclusion from the world.  While it’s not a bad idea to turn off Fox News and talk radio, it is a bad idea to cut yourself off from friends and family.  Now is the time, more than ever, that you need be around merry hearts!  One word of caution, however, is to be careful to limit your time with those who “enable” you to be negative, or dwell on your anxiety.

While I still have days where anxiety rears it’s ugly head, I am able to overcome it and still get on with my day.  If I go to Christ right away, He always makes it bearable, and He will give me rest from it.

 

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If this article has helped encourage you, please be sure to share it with someone else who may also struggle with anxiety.  Be sure to tune in next week for “Overcoming Anxiety Series #3 – What Does God Think About Anxiety?”