Hi there! My name is Carrie, and I'm the wife of a handsome guy named Gabe, and a mom to 4 crazy kids. Here at Claiming the Promise, I share personal life-lessons that I have learned about daily overcoming anxiety. My prayer is that Claiming the Promise can bring hope to the Christian struggling with anxiety, and find peace by claiming the promises God has given us in His Word!
“He that hath knowledge spareth his words: and a man of understanding is of an excellent spirit.” – Proverbs 17:27
When someone has wronged us either in word or deed, it doesn’t take but a few milliseconds to come up with a response. Often, those quick and thoughtless responses can be more damaging than the offending deed! The Bible tells us to use our words sparingly. We can’t undo what has been said or done to offend us, however, we can control how we respond. Using the art of silence can help us from saying things we regret in the heat of the moment.
“There is no law that says that we must comment on everything that is said to us or that we must critique everything that is done to us. If something has been done that disappointed us, it has already been done and there is no undoing it. There is no need for us to summarize our displeasure. This is the time to use the art of silence.” – Jack Hyles
Nearly two years ago, I was sitting in an uncomfortable chair in the emergency room. Despite the busyness of the nursing staff around me, I felt alone, and scared. It was after midnight, and my husband had been whisked away to have tests done. Several hours later, I knew something was wrong, when three grim-looking doctors came into the room. They explained that my husband did not have a concussion as previously thought, that he had actually experienced a stroke. My heart began to pound, my hands shook, and a flood of emotions raged in my chest.
However scary that moment was, in just a few months, I would be praising God that my husband had that stroke! For it was because of an imaging test done that night, that his thyroid cancer was discovered.
Yet, at that moment in the emergency room, I was not very thankful.
A year later, after my husband’s thyroid had been removed, and his radioactive iodine treatment was complete, I was once again, sitting in another uncomfortable chair. This time, in a hospital room, next to my husband’s bed. I was holding his hand., as another surgeon explained to us that my husband had stage 3 colorectal cancer.
I’m pretty sure I had a hard time expressing thankfulness at that moment.
Yet, here I am today, expressing deep thankfulness to my Heavenly Father! Not only for the trials He allowed in our lives the last two years, but for His kindness. Our family is a living testament to the fact that God is kind to the unthankful! Despite the fears and the sorrows we have had in the last 2 years, God has showered us with His tender care.
“But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.” – Luke 6:35
He showed us kindness through His comforting word. There is something about the scripture that comes to life when you are walking in a valley. Suddenly, verses you have read a hundred times before, have new meaning and understanding. Comfort and hope are found in abundance throughout the scripture! On the day that I watched my husband struggle to walk because of his chemo treatment, I felt the Comforter’s hand on my shoulder as I was reading Psalms 139. Yes, God is kind to the unthankful!
He showed us kindness through our brothers and sisters in Christ. The visits to hospital rooms, cards in the mail, hot meals, and thoughtful gifts to our family, all helped to ease our present suffering. One day, I had found myself standing in the adult diaper section of the grocery store. I was angrily swiping away tears, trying to decide what size my husband would need. Once I got home, I had allowed myself to become filled with rage. How could radiation do this to my husband!? Throwing open the mailbox, I angrily yanked out the package that was tucked inside. The return address showed it had come from dear Christian friends who recently moved to Florida. Angrily ripping it open, the first thing I pulled out was a package of Dove chocolates – my favorite! Suddenly, my tears of anger had changed into tears of thankfulness that God would be so kind to unthankful me!
He showed us kindness by providing our needs. Because of the aggressive treatments, my husband had to cut back his work hours. Yet, we never missed paying a bill, we never missed a meal, we never had to wear clothes with holes in them, and our vehicles continued running! Once, toward the end of my husbands treatments, we realized we wouldn’t be able to pay the kids school bill. I made arrangements with the principle and the business office to delay our payment. We weren’t sure how we would be able to pay it. We never mentioned our financial situation to anyone, not even family. Yet, a few days later, we received a card in the mail with money in it- more than enough money to pay the school bill! God showed us kindness by making provision for our every need!
He showed us kindness by answering prayer. God not only answered our own personal prayers, but also the prayers of others who were praying on our behalf. During the moments we had reason to be afraid or down, our spirits were lifted. My husband was positive about his cancer prognosis, and I never once struggled with anxiety! Those things alone made us know that we were being covered in prayer. When my husband’s chemo had become particularly difficult, he had an appointment with his oncologist. The doctor asked if my husband needed a refill on his pain medication. When he learned my husband wasn’t taking pain medication, he was shocked. “In all my years of being an oncologist, you are my first cancer patient that hasn’t needed pain medication!” My husband replied, “that is because God is answering the prayers of my brothers and sisters in Christ!” Yes, God is truly kind to the unthankful!
The wonderful thing about being a Christian is that God loves to shower His children exceedingly and abundantly beyond what they deserve or even ask! Here are just a couple more of the many little ways God was kind to us!
“Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,” – Ephesians 3:20
Last spring, we took a family trip to the Creation Museum. We were going to have to leave early because my son had broken the flat screen TV in our hotel room. We didn’t have the money to pay for it and eat the next day. Once we arrived at the museum, we bumped into some friends. I never mentioned the broken TV, but at the end of our conversation, the lady slipped me a handful of money and said, “God told me to give this to you.” Our family was able to stay the entire day as originally planned and pay for the broken TV!
There was another time I was feeling particularly sorry for myself. My husband couldn’t get away from the cancer clinic long enough to go on our yearly camping trip. How I longed to get away from “cancer” for just one day! However, because of his weakness from treatments, my husband couldn’t camp in a tent. The cabins I had looked into were all booked up until September. During the last couple weeks of summer, I received a phone call from a campground. “We have an opening in a cabin you were asking about. Are you still interested in a one night stay?” Um, YES!!
So this week, our family will be joining the millions of other American families who celebrate Thanksgiving. We will carve a turkey and watch football. We will eat pumpkin pie. We will play games and laugh until we cry. We will thank God for my husbands healing from his stroke, and his remission from his cancers. And we will be thankful for all the kindness our God has shown to us, when we were so unthankful!
Christian, are you one of the multitudes of believers desiring peace in your life today? Peace from the everyday loudness of the world around us? Peace from thoughts and worries that often plague our minds? Try being thankful! Thankfulness is key to peacefulness. Once we learn the art of being thankful, we open the flood gates to pace in our lives.
“And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.” – Colossians 3:15
Are you feeling weighted down by what is on your schedule for today? Why not take your heavy burden filled with the cares and expectations of today, and exchange it for God’s lighter burden of love, joy, and peace? When you drop to your knees and give your day to the Lord, you are emptying your sack of all the burdens of today. Reading His Word fills your sack with God’s precious promises!
“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” – Matthew 11:28-30
My husband and I at the Toledo Cancer Center for his chemotherapy. A friend had generously given us a gift card to Chili’s that we used for lunch.
Ringing the doorbell, I nervously clutched my casserole dish closer. The door opened, and a woman with dark hair smiled at me.
“Come in, sweetie”, she said.
Following her through the family room, I noticed a hospital bed set up in the corner. There was other medical equipment near the bed. I quickly looked away.
“Just set it down right here on the counter”, the woman said. I began unpacking the meal I had brought.
“I made a chicken pot pie, I hope you haven’t had it this week.”
“Oh, that sounds wonderful! Thank you so much, I just haven’t had time to cook.”
“Are you doing OK?”
Her eyes glistened with unshed tears. She slightly lifted her chin, and I could see determination pushing away her emotion.
“I’m doing fine. It’s been hard, but God is good.”
“We are praying for your husband, and for you”, I replied. “Let us know if we can do anything at all. We live pretty close to you.”
How I wish I could go back to that moment in time, and taken the opportunity to show just a little more compassion. Maybe I could have given that dear lady a genuine hug, or said a prayer with her. But the truth was, I didn’t know how to act, or what to say. I felt awkward and incapable. I was terrified of saying or doing the wrong thing.
In the last year, I have learned that no one can really know what to say to someone who is suffering from cancer. This knowledge can only be obtained by experience. By sharing what I have personally learned in the last year, I hope to help others who may be feeling intimidated at the idea of helping someone with cancer.
HOW TO HELP SOMEONE WITH CANCER
Let them know you care. In this day and age, it is extremely easy to express your care and concern to someone who has cancer. Texting, instant messaging, and sending cards in the mail are just a few ideas of easy communication. If the person you are reaching out to is a good friend, consider a phone call, or even a short visit. It doesn’t take any profound words of wisdom to tell someone you care. Keep your text message short, but sweet. A simple “we are praying for you” can go a long way.
Give them time to process their diagnosis. If someone has just found out they have cancer, more than likely, they don’t know very many details. There will need to be more tests, and possibly even surgery, before they find out what stage their cancer is, and what treatment will be required. They may be trying to process the fact that they even have cancer, while also struggling with all the unknown possibilities. So while you are expressing your care and concern, be careful to not bombard the cancer patient with too many questions. But don’t leave them alone! They need to be surround by their family, friends, and church during this scary time. However, do be sensitive to what you say and ask the first few weeks after diagnosis. Now is not the time to share stories of “great-aunt Martha, who died a terrible death from colon cancer”!
Be informed. Once the cancer patient has a treatment plan, things start moving pretty quickly. One way to show you care is to stay informed of what kind of treatment is needed, how often, and how aggressive it will be. Learn when surgeries will be, and make sure someone will be there to sit with the spouse. Send flowers, cards, or bring up a gift basket after surgery is over. Ask if they have any needs, so if others happen to ask what they can do to help, you will have an idea of what to suggest.
Help them with the small stuff. I can’t tell you what a blessing it was for my husband and I to hear the many offers to help watch our kids. We had friends and family help pick up kids from school during treatments and appointments. Friends kept our kids overnight during surgeries. A friend brought over a hot meal during the first few weeks my husband was diagnosed. We were still walking around in a daze, and I wasn’t really making dinner, and her thoughtfulness went a long way into comforting our hearts. The small stuff can become very overwhelming when you are going through cancer. My husband became so weak and ill during his treatments, that he could no longer accomplish small tasks around the house. Thankfully, my son was old enough to start mowing the lawn, and our friendly neighbor offered to help with a few projects around the house that couldn’t wait. If you want to help someone who is going through cancer, these are all wonderful ideas that you could do to be a blessing.
Giving gifts is always a great idea. Depending on the type and stage of cancer, it may become impossible for a patient to work full time, if at all. Thankfully, my husband was able to get part-time disability, however, it was only a certain percentage of his salary. Gradually, it became a little hard for us financially. While we never truly struggled to the point we couldn’t buy groceries, there were a few times we saw God provide specific needs when people would slip us a rolled up $100 bill, or we received a card with cash in it through the mail. God always provided our needs while my husband had cancer! We received restaurant gift cards that helped us out on the truly difficult days during my husbands treatments. We never would have been able to get carry-out as often as we did without the generosity of our brothers and sisters in Christ! If the Lord puts it on your heart to give, even if it feels impulsive, obey the leading of the Holy Spirit. Maybe God is trying to use you to help fullfill a need in the life of someone else!
Don’t forget about them. Once the initial shock of a cancer diagnosis wears away, it is easy to forget about the difficulties your friend with cancer is still facing. Life goes on, and the crazy, busy, hustle-and-bustle of every-day life can distract us from remembering to reach out to those still in need. There was a day when my husband had to go in for his chemotherapy, and I wasn’t able to be there for with him because of an event I was hosting. My brother-in-law drove over two hours to come and sit with my husband for those 4 hours! It was such a blessing to know that while life was going on for everyone around him, someone was still thinking of my husband. During his cancer treatments, my husband received many cards expressing love and prayers. Often the card would arrive on a day where an encouraging word was desperately needed. God has a way of sending you what you need, exactly when you need it! Knowing that others are thinking and praying for you is just as needful at the end of a cancer journey than it is at the beginning.
Pray for them as they get back to normal life. When you have cancer, hearing the word “remission”, is definitely something to celebrate! Yet, depending on the aggressiveness and length of treatment, it may take a while for a cancer patient to gain their strength again. There may also be some struggle in becoming independent, after needing the help of others for a long period of time. And lastly, a person who has gone through cancer tends to change how they view life. Their dreams and goals for their future have changed, and this may cause a little uncertainty when getting back to “normal life” again. Don’t stop praying for someone who has had cancer.
If you are still uncertain of what to say or do around someone with cancer, you can always pray. My husband and I KNOW we could never have gone through the last year without the prayers of others. What an encouragement it was to hear that so many people were praying for my husband! Not only was it encouraging, but is was comforting. The next time you hear a family member, friend, or church member was diagnosed with cancer, don’t let the fear of saying or doing the wrong thing stop you from helping those in need. God is not going to overlook any effort you put forth in love in ministering to His saints!
Hebrews 6:10 – “For God is not unrighteous to forget your work and labour of love, which ye have shewed towards his name, in that ye have ministered to the saints, and do minister.”
As new Christians, we become zealous in our walk with the Lord. We change the way we talk, dress, who our friends are, and even what music we listen to!
Over time, as we grow in the Lord, some of our zeal tends to fade away. Some Christians even return to the things they had once given up for God. Peter warns us to beware! Don’t become so comfortable in your Christian walk, that you begin to fall from the things you once were steadfast about! Be determined to live in a way that is pleasing to God!
“Ye therefore, beloved, seeing ye know these things before, beware lest ye also, being led away with the error of the wicked, fall from your own stedfastness.” – 2 Peter 3:17
”But I trusted in thee, O Lord : I said, Thou art my God. My times are in thy hand: deliver me from the hand of mine enemies, and from them that persecute me.” – Psalms 31:14-15
Do you ever wonder how you will die? Will it be long and painful, or unexpectedly short? If you find you are thinking about your own death, you need to recognize that those thoughts are not healthy, and they are NOT from God!
David was a man whose life was hunted by a madman, put in danger during many battles, and pushed out of his own kingdom by his son. I’m sure there were times he wondered how his own life would end.
“But I trusted in thee, O Lord : I said, Thou art my God. My times are in thy hand:”
If we, like David, put our trust completely in the Lord, we can have peace in knowing that our life is in God’s hands! So stop worrying about your end, and rest in the knowledge that God is holding your times in His hand!
“I’m a little nervous to leave the valley”, I told my friend.
“Why?”
“We’ve been under God’s protective hand for the last year, I’m afraid to leave! How will we be able to get back to normal life again?
That day, I allowed a tiny seed of doubt to be planted in my heart. That tiny seed then began to grow, until it bloomed into an ugly blossom of worry.
“What if the cancer comes back?”
“What if Gabe can’t handle full-time work?”
Soon, that ugly plant of doubt and worry began to grow thorns and vines that were cutting and choking me. I had given in to my fears.
Suddenly, I was having panic attacks. I couldn’t drive, and I had unreasonable fear each time Gabe went into the office.
Instead of leaving the valley feeling victorious over what God had done for my husband, I was a miserable mess over a future I could not control.
“Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” – Isaiah 41:10
Friends, God is good! He graciously reminded me that leaving the valley doesn’t mean I am leaving His protection. My journey will continue on, weather in a valley or on a mountain, with God holding me in His protective hand!
I confessed my fear to God. I told God I trusted Him with the future. I asked Him to help me no longer give place to fear in my life. I thanked Him for the victory He gave me over my sin of fear.
I began to drive again. I didn’t have a panic attack when my husband went into the office. The anxiety left.
If you have been in a long valley, and find you are about to leave, don’t allow seeds of doubt, worry, or fear to enter your mind. These seeds will grow into ugly plants. They will steal away the peace and victory God gave you in the valley.
Instead, leave the valley with praise on your lips, and a song in your heart. Remember, you will never leave the Father’s hand!
“The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord : and he delighteth in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the Lord upholdeth him with his hand.” – Psalms 37:23-24
For those who have been following my husband’s journey with cancer, he recieved fantastic news a few weeks ago! He was declared NED, and given a clear bill of health! We couldn’t be happier with this news, and are currently getting back to “normal” life.
“How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee.” – Psalms 139:17-18
There are roughly 7.6 billion people on the earth right now. Can you imagine God having time to think about every single person? Yet, David said, “how precious are thy thoughts unto ME, O God!”
Not only does God think about us each individually, He thinks about us often! David said, “if I should count them, they are more in number than the sand”.
Think of the many sandy beaches around the world. Imagine the wide expanses of desert that are spread throughout many continents. Picture the sand underneath the oceans. There is an estimated 500 quadrillion grains of sand on the earth! I think it’s safe to say that God thinks of us A LOT.
Not only does God think of us individually, not only does God think of us often, but God’s thoughts of us are PRECIOUS! David said, “How precious are thy thoughts unto me”! So as you walk through your busy day, remember – you are on God’s mind!
Watching the car steer off the road, I looked at the driver. Her eyes were closed, her mouth gaping open. She was unconscious, and she was about to hit a telephone pole!
Adrenaline rushed through my veins, and I quickly made a u-turn. By the time I managed to get back to the run-away car, two men were already assisting the woman, and a bystander was calling 911. Not sure what to do, I ran across the street to a doctor’s office, and begged for a nurse to come with me.
I don’t know what happened to that woman, but I think of her often. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to get her face from my mind.
Witnessing that car accident triggered the first panic attack I’ve had in several years. I am now back in the throes of anxiety.
I have no expert wisdom to share about how to permanently overcome anxiety. I do, however, want to share a few truths that have helped me the last few days.
#1 – God has a purpose for your anxiety. If you are serving the Lord and to the best of your knowledge, are right with Him, then God has allowed anxiety in your life for a purpose. God may be using anxiety as a way to draw you closer to Him. He may be trying to soften your heart, and give you a humble spirit, in order to use your weakness to glorify Him. Don’t waste time trying to figure out God’s plan, just trust Him.
#2 – Don’t trust your feelings. Rest in the knowledge that God cares about you, sees your pain, hears your cries and LOVES you! Don’t trust your feelings when you are going through anxiety, because your feelings are all over the place and unreliable. Instead, rely on the truth of the Word of God!
#3 – Distract your mind. When in the midst of a panic attack, our minds tend to get stuck on unhealthy thought patterns. Here are some ideas I have found useful in the last few days. Spend some time with a friend. Clean your house. Listen to an audio book. Sing some songs. Go to church. Take a walk. Bake some bread. Spend time with your kids. Watch a funny movie. Write out encouraging scripture. Pray – and pray lot!
You can have peace while going through anxiety. Peace that God has a purpose for your suffering, and peace that He cares and is really listening to your cry! These truths won’t cure anxiety, but they have personally helped me, and I pray they help you, as well.
“Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.” – Isaiah 26:3
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