Courageously Waiting

Sitting in a dark (and cold) hospital room, I’m watching my husband sleep. The wires and tubes poking out of him are a new and unwelcome reminder of how fragile life can be. Yet, in his weakened state I can only see his strength. This man is one of the strongest I know. 

It was just a few weeks ago he was holding me as I sobbed in his arms. He was comforting ME about the fact he had cancer again. When he had the excuse to stay home from church (its not every day your pastor tells you skipping church is a good idea!) he insisted on going. When the very first person to “comfort” him told him about her father who died of colon cancer, he just laughed about it. When his nurse told him to stay home and away from peo0le until after his surgery, he still got up the next morning and went to work. He didn’t want to leave his boss or coworkers in a bind.

This man went to see his son play basketball, joked with other parents, and yelled across the court. He sang a duet with his wife and with the tenors in the choir. His smile still came easy and he never once lost his dry sense of humor (to my childrens dismay)!

He had his rough moments when he thought no one was watching. When the worry and fear wrinkled his forehead and a few tears slipped down his cheeks. His smile didn’t reach his eyes as he watched our children playing. Painful as those moments were to watch, it was never long before I would see the strength take over. The wrinkles would smooth away. He would dry up those escaped tears, and that smile would finally reach his eyes. 

“How are you not depressed or on medication for depression,” asked a nurse in the admitting room. “You have been through so much in the last year,” she said.

“God has been good to me,” replied my husband. “They wouldn’t have known about the thyroid cancer if I hadn’t had the stoke. They wouldn’t have found the colon cancer if the blood thinners didn’t make me bleed. God has been so good to me, how can I do anything other than to keep trusting Him?”

After two weeks of agony, we found out the cancer had not spread to any other of my husbands organs. We will find out next week if the cancer has spread to any lymph nodes.

“Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart; wait, I say, on the Lord.” Psalm 27:14

Courageously waiting is something we are called on by God to do. In return He has promised strength. 

Watching my husband sleep today,God revealed a precious promise to me. It was not my husbands strength I was seeing. He was just waiting on God. It was God’s strength that I, and everyone around him was seeing.

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