Becoming Gold

“I councel thee to buy of me gold tried in the fire.” – Revelation 3:18

The last few years I have asked God to give me a verse to be my “theme” for the new year. God has always given me something. I usually write it out on an index card and pin it to my board above my kitchen sink. This year, He gave me Revelation 3:18. I didn’t want it. I battled it in my heart. No one in their right mind would want that verse to be their theme for the following year! I wrote the verse out but didn’t hang it on my board. I left it tucked away in a drawer somewhere. The last year had been hard enough. I wasn’t planning on going through any more fires in 2017.

A year ago today, I insisted to my husband that I take him to the emergency room. A few days earlier, he had been diagnosed with a concussion, but his symptoms were worsening. He felt incredibly nauseous and he was so dizzy he couldn’t even sit in a chair.

By the end of the night, we had learned that he had a stroke.

By the end of the week we were told they also discovered a mass on his thyroid. A few months later he was diagnosed with thyroid cancer.

It was a long 5 months recovering from the stroke. He was off work an entire month, then worked from home a month. He then returned to modified hours for a couple months. Surgery to remove his thyroid was in July. He became so tired and it took several months to get the right balance of medication in him just so he wouldnt fall asleep driving to work. He had just told me a couple weeks ago that he was finally feeling human again. His plan to work an entire week from the office was to go into effect this week.

Tuesday we got a call from the doctor. Gabe now has colon cancer.

God was trying to prepare my heart for what He knew was about to come to us again this year. Our prayer is that they caught the cancer early and that this drama will only last a couple months. Deep inside, I know it may not be that easy. Deep inside, I fear losing my husband this time.

However, God has proven his love for me already in the last couple of days of this new journey. Scripture upon scripture has literally flooded my mind.

“In the multitude of my thoughts within me, thy comforts delight my soul.” – Psalm 94:19

He has comforted me, and my soul truly is delighted. That He would speak to ME and love ME enough to comfort me each day blows my mind. Even in this new trial.

My husband begins testing next week. I will be sitting in waiting rooms again, finding friends and family to help out with my kids. I dread this path. But I have a comfort in the fact that God already knows what is ahead for my husband. He is there already. Because we are following Him.

“But He knoweth the way that I take; when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.” – Job 23:16

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